Early 2017, for the second time, I met with a neurologist about my migraines. When I was pregnant with Leighland they spiked and I was getting them with auras. Along with my health, my migraines were getting worse. I sat down and explained what was going on to this neurologist. He basically called me an idiot and I held back tears in fear of confirming his assumption. I paid $300 for him to tell me in 5 minutes that stress was causing my migraines and that I’d have them for the rest of my life because it’s a cycle. I walked out that door and believed everything he said. I cried to my mom and Korie in the car and felt so defeated. With that, I found that I give up easily. Words, good or bad, hit me to the core.
Fast forward to today and I’ve only had one migraine with an aura (when we found out that Shep was Breech and had a double nuchal cord) this entire year! All thanks to my new doctor! She has healed many parts of me and has shown me that the mind is a powerful tool. She has taught me to be kind to myself and how to put God as the center of my focus. As I recover from pregnancy and birth, I’ve most recently forgotten the upside of how powerful my mind is and I can’t seem to get out of my own head. Isaac, my friend Samantha and my mom have all been so helpful in refocusing my attention. Isaac seems to fight for my happiness as much as he can and it’s such a blessing.
It’s been a daily battle and some moments are worse than others, but on good days I’m working on using my mind to heal my body. I’m having a hard time giving everything to God in this season which is new for me. I’ve never had a hard time with that. I’ve always known that God was already there and I’ve always had a positive faith. But this time I feel stuck over talking to Him.
Something, like the neurologist, is telling me all the bad news. That things won’t get better. And I keep believing it as I also try to fight it off. So, I don’t have any specific prayer requests because my mind still feels hazy but if anyone here could talk to God about me, I’d greatly appreciate that 💛