I want to make stuff. Sell stuff. Paint stuff. Create stuff. And ever since Eisley was born, I heard. “No. Focus on Eisley.” So I shut down Messies Munchkins. Then I start itching for that same outlet. Start over again and start Cactus flower apparel. And sure again God still said “No. Focus on your family” so I stop. Shut it down. Then I start over when Leigh is born. With Kay Penner studios then SeneGence and I wanted to start school early 2017 to become a realtor. Then one day I hear “No more. It’s time to focus on your husband. It’s time to raise your children. No more.” And immediately felt peace. Never before did I feel peace and never before was I actually seeking God during those times. I thought I was but I was going against what he kept telling me. I wasn’t obedient. I would stop and think, okay I stopped long enough now I can do it again. But… the girls are still little and my marriage needed attention.
I started to believe the lie that I needed to work. I needed a career. I needed to make income. No one but my husband told me that it was okay to stay home and raise children. Everyone made me feel so much anxiety towards staying home. I felt like I wasn’t contributing to anything.
I have a whole board on Pinterest about how children are the best work. They are what we give back to God. Not paintings. Not t-shirts. Not computers. Not decorated homes. Not Lipstick. Children are a gift to us. But I believed the lies over what was most important. Over what God had been telling me for three years.
But recently God has shown me otherwise. And after reading The Magnolia Story, I’m confident that I’m where I’m supposed to be. Joanna helped me reflect on my own life because some parts looked like hers.